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| I recently finished crocheting a scrap wool blanket for my bed I really love how bright and colorful it turned out. |
Last week, my mum bumped into an old friend of mine at the supermarket who I have not seen or talked to in the last 3 years or so. I remembered the last time we spoke, it was just a short catch-up chat but it felt more like a competition of whose life was better and whose kids were doing the best. Before this chat we use to be really good friends but she had moved away a few years earlier but was now back living in the area.
After the last conversation we had, I walked away feeling kind of defeated, she was traveling overseas, had an amazing well paying job, was newly engaged to a wonderful man, and lived in a new house. She quizzed me on what I was doing and where I was living and what my daughter was doing.
I replied I was currently a foster carer, I still lived in the house that was slightly run down and I was homeschooling my daughter still. I was also still a single mum with no future husband prospects on the horizon.
The comments that she made left me feeling not very encouraged or confident at all. For the next week, I stewed on them, wondering if I made the right decisions in my life or whether I had ruined not only my life but whether I had ruined my daughter's life too. It was like a thick dark blanket had settled over my heart especially at the prospect that I had set my daughter back and that she would not be able to function in society.
I prayed and cried out to God but I could not shake the feeling of this heavy blanket or burden that had been placed in my life until I talked to my mum about what was happening. She spoke light and love back into my heart and life by helping me to see that it was all coming down to my friend's insecurities and problems within her own life.
Reflecting upon our conversation I could see the insecurities and mixing with my own insecurities about whether I was on the right track, helped me to step back and reflect upon areas of my life and I could see that I could make some changes.
The most important change was to stop letting other people's opinions rule how I live my life and to not dwell on them, making me think less of myself. I could reflect quickly incase there maybe areas of blindness in my life that might need attention but I usually take advice from people I trust and have a stronger relationship with than from people who I bump into occasionally.
I now choose my friends carefully and definitely choose to surround myself with people who love and encourage me instead of people who have strong opinions about how I should be living my life and who choose to pull me down through negativity. This brings so much freedom and peace into my life.
